Mom was easy to be around.

We had a saying in the family: “What’s there not to like about Mom?” She had a gentle spirit and exuded unconditional love, particularly when it came to her family and other loved ones. That gentle spirit and unconditional love was exemplified by her Christian life. She was one of the very few Christians I’ve ever met who didn’t just talk the talk: she walked the walk. Well into her eighties, she visited the sick and elderly, bringing them communion and reading from the Bible to them. She donated to the poor, and sponsored a number of children from poverty stricken areas around the world. I still have a small picture made from wood shavings that one of those children made for her in thanks. She gave tirelessly and selflessly to her family.

Even animals sensed this gentle, loving nature of hers. The first pet my wife, Kim, and I owned was a female rat, named Kaya. Kaya loved Kim, but as is often typical with pets of opposite gender, adored me. She was even a bit jealous of Kim, and an otherwise gentle animal, could be quite nippy with any other females competing for my attention. Not so with Mom. Mom first met Kaya when she was a kitten, and called her our little mouse even after Kaya had grown quite large. Even when Kaya had aged, and grown a bit grumpy, she still clearly loved Mom.

After Kaya had passed, Kim and I got two ferrets. The albino, Bozo, was the only other being I have personally known in this life with a spirit as gentle as Mom’s. When Mom came to visit and first met the ferrets, they were roaming free in the house and ran to the door to greet her. As was her way, she immediately greeted them with baby talk telling them hello. Bozo was awe struck. He seemed to be thinking: “Who is this angel?” For the remainder of her visit he followed her wherever she went, staring at her with that awe struck look, like a little lost puppy.

Bozo was a gentle and loving spirit, but his tolerance for being held was low. Even Kim and I could only hold and love on him for a few minutes before he would get antsy and want down. Once again, Mom would turn out to be the exception to this. A few years after Mom and Bozo had met, Kim and I went to visit my parents. We were letting the ferrets play in the folks’ large backyard when it started to rain. Boomer, the more adventurous of the two continued to play, but Bozo retreated to the porch making a beeline to Mom who was sitting on the steps with a blanket on her lap. She welcomed him as he crawled up onto her lap and she covered him with the blanket. For a full 45 minutes he stayed there like that. Every once in awhile Kim and I would come and peel the blanket back to see if he had fallen asleep. He never did, content to lie there peacefully in the lap of this angel he had found.

Mom’s angelic nature, however, was most apparent when it came to people. She and Dad took in countless friends of my brother and sister, some of them staying in our home for extended periods of time. One of my sister’s friends, Mickki, would become like another daughter to Mom and my sister-from-another-mother. Mom taught nursing at the local community college, and Mickki would ultimately school under Mom and follow in her footsteps becoming a R.N.

My niece, Maya, and Mom had an incredibly close relationship. Mom was often Maya’s babysitter while my sister, Kathy (a hardworking single mother), was out earning a living. Maya shared Mom’s sense of adventure, and when Maya was about ten she and Mom made a cross-country trip together, meeting my brother, Jay, part way to travel up Big Sur. As I mentioned in part one of this series, Kathy and Maya were true rocks during Mom’s final years in the nursing home. Maya would regularly travel an hour and a half from her home to give Mom comfort and aide.

Mom was already declining in health and mental capacity when my son was born prematurely (you can read about that here). She and Dad made it down to meet him when he was four months adjusted. She did her trademark baby talk/cooing at him and said: “I love you, Corbin, and when you get to know me, you’ll love me too.” The connection was instantaneous.

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That connection remained, and it proved quite valuable to Mom once she was in the nursing home. Even when she was unresponsive to most, she would visibly brighten up when we brought Corbin to visit. Corbin, as well, was always clearly thrilled to see Grandma. His childish innocence saw completely past the wheelchair and deterioration; he only knew he was once again in the presence of his beloved Grandma O.

That connection for Corbin has remained to this day. He still talks about her with reverence and love. He still talks about how much he misses her. About a year and a half after her death Grandpa O, Corbin, and I went to put flowers on her grave.

While Dad and I were talking about the newly installed gravestone/bench, I noticed Corbin crouched down by Mom’s grave. As I approached him I could see that he was digging at the grave site. “Whatcha doing, buddy?” I asked him. He looked up at me in childish innocence and said, “I want to see Grandma again.”